The Silent Lover
by BadGirlwithsomeRetroSneakers
Summary: Tonks asks Remus to turn her into his dream girl. "He could feel his heart stopping in his chest. Because she was lying beneath him...his Lily once more." RL/NT/LP triangle. one-sided Remus/Lily


Hello everyone,

This idea literally just popped into my head tonight so I decided to write it because it really interested me.

Eh...before anyone goes any further...

**NOT FOR NT/RJ FANS- THIS IS VERY ONE SIDED. YOU WILL HATE ME. TURN BACK NOW!!!**

Anyone else- please come on in! :D

There are a number of assumptions to be made before reading this story so please take them into account- although they may not be necessarily true with regard to the HP books.

1) Tonks has never seen Lily.

2) Tonks is very trusting of Remus and not suspicious of Ginny.

That is all :D

Please review!

I'd love to hear your responses!

Thanks for reading!

BGWSRS

* * *

Remus let out a groan as his wife did that beautiful little thing with her tongue on his neck that he had grown to adore.

His whole body shivered as she swept her hands up and down his clothed limbs and back.

Remus had to admit- there were benefits of having a wife to come home to.

* * *

"_You are way too young to be going steady," Sirius remarked harshly, rolling his eyes when James chuckled a little at him. _

"_I understand you have a scathing view of relationships, Padfoot, but you have to admit that there are 'certain' benefits," James replied in a low, humorous voice, winking brazenly at Peter. _

"_If you're talking about shagging...."_

"_Yes, I am, mate. I have a staple sex life, thanks to my beautiful girlfriend."_

_Sirius rolled his eyes again, looking at James with the most mocking type of glare. _

"_So do I, only I don't have to hold her afterwards," he replied in a babying voice. _

"_Alright," James conceded, yet only for a moment. Remus could see that he had been moments away from saying that he didn't mind having to hold Lily, but the ridicule from Sirius would have proven too much. "Remus!" he said bossily. _

"_Err....yeah?"_

_He didn't want dragged into this. _

"_When was the last time you had sex?"_

_He shouldn't have answered. _

"_Point proven," James said confidently noting Remus's blush and low head. "When was the last time I had sex? This morning."_

"_Congratulations, Prongs," Sirius drawled. "Moony doesn't count. He doesn't want to have sex." _

"_Yes he does," James bickered back, nudging Remus in the ribs for support. _

_Sirius barked out a laugh. _

"_Okay, well he doesn't want to have sex with Lily so your argument still fails either way."_

_Remus hoped no one noticed his deepening blush. _

_...._

_They didn't. _

* * *

"You like that?" she breathed, as he moaned happily in response- her hands now lifting the shirt above his head.

She kissed him fully on the mouth to which he replied with vigour.

"You know there are benefits to having a wife like me," she said through the kisses, pulling him on top of her.

"I know," he chuckled, going for her neck.

"And they're not that I'm willing to have sex with you."

"I disagree."

She laughed, and he pulled back looking at her smiling, now deep brown, eyes.

Smiling back, he kissed her again.

"Remus...?"

"Hmmmm?" he responded through his heavy breathing and laboured movements.

"I meant it."

"About what?"

"The.....benefits."

Confused, Remus sat up off of her a little to see what she was getting at.

She was looking up at him cheekily.

"What do you want me to look like?" she asked seductively, moving up to kiss him on the chest.

He pushed her back down.

"I love you any way you look."

* * *

"_Patented answer to say back to a chick," Sirius said through a yawn. _

"_It was not," James argued back childishly as Remus lay down on his bed wondering if the two of them would ever give it a rest. _

"_Yeah it was," Sirius groaned in response, shoving his head under the pillow. "She looked like a daffodil....or a chicken," came his muffled voice. _

"_She did not," James bit out, sitting up now, looking angrily over at his friend's bed. "She looked beautiful. She always does." _

_Another muffled chuckle. _

"_You say that because you have to. Because she won't screw you if you don't. Because she'll hex you if you don't!"_

_A pillow was chucked at Sirius's head. _

"_You have no idea what you're talking about," James said quietly. "Just cause she doesn't dress like one of your whores."_

"_Don't rag on the whores, James. You were fond of them too, once upon a time."_

_Another pillow. _

"_Moron," James mumbled, lying back down. "I love her in yellow. I love her in anything."_

"_Or nothing..."_

"_I've run out of pillows, Padfoot." _

"_Thank Merlin."_

_Silence for a while._

_...._

"_She looked beautiful, didn't she, Moony?"_

"_Err....yeah."_

_Another blush._

_Another sinking feeling in his stomach. _

_A snort from Sirius. _

"_He's lying."_

"_He is not. Right, Moony?"_

_....._

"_She looked stunning, Prongs."_

"_Ha!"_

* * *

She laughed raucously.

"You have to say that! I'm your wife."

"I'd say it even if you weren't."

She scraped her hands down his already scarred chest, kissing just below his belly button.

"I mean it," she said lowly. "I want to know how you'd like me to look. I want to turn you on," she continued mischievously, her hand wandering lower below his belt buckle, making him jump.

"You do," he replied, wondering how she could miss the obvious sign of it.

She pulled him back down on top of her.

"Please," she whispered in his ear, before licking the lobe. "I want to please you. And don't say I do already."

He breathed, considering a number of ways to say no to this.

"You must have some sort of a type."

"How would you not find this insulting?" he queried, kissing her lightly, the passion slightly dampened. "Most women would."

* * *

"_I fucking hate my stupid hair! I hate the colour. Why does it have to be bloody red?! Such an inconvenient bloody colour. It goes with nothing. Not even white. Not even my fucking wedding dress!"_

_I love your hair - he wanted to say._

"_James loves your hair," was what came out. _

_She chuckled. _

_He tried not to cry. _

"_He has to. He's going to be my husband in....less than an hour. He wouldn't have married me if I'd looked any different. Remember when I cut my hair for graduation? The hissy fit was epic. And I'm not just talking about after you and Sirius left. It went on all bloody week until I found a charm to grow it back."_

_She was appraising herself in the mirror now. _

_His tux felt uncomfortably tight._

_Because he was appraising her too. _

_..._

_I'd marry you even if you had bright pink hair- was his last thought as he took her arm to walk her up the aisle. _

* * *

"Most women don't have my abilities," she said, licking her lips, her hands at his belt buckle again.

They kissed for a few more moments, trying to recover the mood.

"It would make me happy if you did," she said against his lips.

_If you marry me, Nymphadora, I'll do anything to make you happy for as long as I live._

"I'd feel uncomfortable."

"Don't," she whispered urgently, grasping his member and moving her hand slowly. "I'd like to look like your dream girl."

* * *

"_She's my dream woman, Remus. Everything about her is perfect."_

"_I'm glad you're happy, Prongs, but are you sure this isn't too big a step?"_

"_Asking her to have a baby with me? No," he snorted in a remarkable impression of Sirius. "It's the best idea yet. I'd love to see her all fat and gorgeous. I could just feed her all day." _

_He laughed, masking the jealousy. _

"_You have an odd idea of love."_

_You have the perfect one to love. _

_You have her. _

"_She'd be a wonderful mother."_

_He agrees. Because it's the truest thing he's heard in years. _

"_She'd be linked to me forever."_

_...._

"_She already is."_

"_Yeah, but this way- even if she left me, I'd still get to see her."_

"_She's not going to leave you, Prongs. She loves you."_

"_I know....I just have to keep reminding myself."_

_So do I._

* * *

He balanced his head against her shoulder.

She pulled it back and stared him in the eyes.

"Look at me," she said softly. "I won't be insulted if it's a blonde with 36 D's."

He laughed quietly, smiling down at her but then retreating it when he knew what he would like to ask her to do.

"You didn't marry Sirius."

"No...you married me. And I can do this. I _want_ to do this for you.....Please."

Her eyes were so earnest.

He didn't want to hurt her.

To use her.

But a small part of him couldn't help himself.

A large part of him had been wanting this for so long.

Had been wanting _her_ for so long.

Even though she'd been dead for so long, she still occupied his dreams.

"Alright," he breathed, not being able to look into her earnest eyes.

A wide smile overtook her face.

"Tell me what to do," she asked happily yet with a quietness coming over her voice.

He coughed a little.

"Er....red hair," he said quietly.

Her eyes widened slightly but she smiled and obliged.

"No," he said a little more loudly than he had intended to. "Not that red," he said now touching the post box colour on her strands. "A little more orange-y."

She went through a plethora of shades.

"There," he said, as she reached the right one. "And...." he struggled here.

"Go on," she said encouragingly, rubbing his arm softly in reassurance.

"Longer."

"Here?" she asked, measuring to her shoulder.

"No...to your lower back," he said as she grew it to his requested length... "and wavy."

He appraised the hair.

It was as beautiful as he remembered it.

"Anything else....?" she asked him somewhat cheekily. "We can do it all if you want..."

He blushed, looking downwards.

But she kissed him.

"Eyes?"

...

"Green," he said shamefully, knowing what he was about to say now. "Not too bright...like...like an emerald, maybe. But darker towards the pupil."

"I never knew eyes were such a turn on for you," she replied, as he looked up to smile at her and nearly choked.

He could feel tears prick his eyes.

He could feel his heart stopping in his chest.

He could feel the love bursting out of him as he nearly died from her presence.

Because she was lying beneath him...

kissing him...

touching him with _her hands_.

"Nose...lips?" Lily asked.

He shook his head.

"Perfect," he breathed.

And then it overtook him.

He couldn't help it anymore because his brain was starting to misfire.

His hands groped at Lily brazenly, wanting and taking in everything they could. Everything that they had longed for so desperately since he had known how to feel aroused. Since he had known that she was the most amazing creature to grace this dull earth with her momentous life. Since he had longed to touch and hold her. To pleasure her until... she cried out beautifully as he grasped her breasts and Remus wanted to devour her on the spot.

The pleasure pulsating through his body, he lowered his head to her perfect torso, lifting the shirt above her head to reveal the vision of all his dreams.

And now he finally had her, writhing beneath him as he gave her all the love he had been feeling for her since they had met.

"Do you want them bigger?" she asked, breathing heavily- her chest heaving, as Remus groaned in between her breasts, licking away all the taste of her that she was offering.

"No. I just want you," he growled, moving his mouth to allow his tongue access to the rosiest peak of her beautiful mounds. She cried out again and screamed his name.

Remus went to heaven- how often had he wanted her to utter that sound.

She was trembling beneath him, tears leaking from her earth-shattering eyes and Remus could wait no longer.

He had to make love to her now.

He had to kiss her lips and throw himself into her body with everything that he had so that she would feel the greatest sensation of all.

He was desperate for her to be thrilled to the highest possible point.

He was desperate for her to love him as urgently...as passionately as he loved her.

He shuddered a ragged breath as he came to meet her face again- green and wild eyes teary and filled with lust.

He would make them show love.

He would make them shed tears of delirious love.

Throwing his hands into her thick hair, he bit down on her neck, revelling in the taste of her- the taste of her beautiful ecstasy.

"Remus!" she cried as he entered her, her sounds making him groan emotionally into her neck, the tears already flowing freely down his eyes.

"I love you," he gasped as he moved himself in and out of her- wanting to feel her release every bit as much as his own.

"I love you too," Lily moaned through her erratic breaths, clutching on to him, scraping her nails down his back as he hoped that she would mark him.

Mark him forever as hers.

Hearing her declaration made him loose self control completely. Through the smell and the feel of her, he couldn't help but throw himself in and out, faster and faster, begging that she was as close as he was.

He'd never forgive himself if she left him unsatisfied.

He kept going, harder and harder, feeling his release coming- he raised his head and looked into her eyes, the sweat dripping from him- the tears from her.

"Say it again," he pleaded, kissing her passionately, adoring the sensual taste of _his Lily. _

Because she was grasping at him with her fingers...and he could_ feel_ the wedding ring.

Yes, she was his wife. She was Lily Lupin- the woman he made love to every night of his life because he was so hungry for her to be happy. For her say that she loved him.

"I love you," she said again, her voice high and breathy, her whole body spasming around him- clutching on to him as he released himself into her- making them truly one.

Truly the only two people on the earth.

Truly the only woman he would ever love.

He shuddered in opianic bliss.

And then it went dark.

And then his angel was no more.

* * *

"Oh my God!" Nymphadora said shrilly, pushing his face back to look at him. "I'm never changing back!" she exclaimed in shock.

And he felt like the biggest bastard in the world.

Because he was actually crying from the disappointment.


End file.
